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SplotchWatch web site a dangerous sign of the times, say Park Police

December 16, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

SplotchWatch

Web site names those who have had spots or stripes removed

A new web site could mean trouble for Park Animals and, ultimately, for zoocracy itself, Park Police tell The Mammalian Daily.

The web site, called “SplotchWatch,” has been under surveillance “for a few months now,” according to Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of The Park Police Force’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU).

“Its only purpose, as far as we can tell, is to name Animals who have had their spots or stripes removed,” he says. “It’s a dangerous sign of the times.”

The owner and operator of the site, whose name police will not reveal at this time, believes it is in the interest of “openness and honesty” to let Park Animals know who among them has altered their appearance.

“The owner of the site seems to believe that there is something intrinsically dishonest about that [stripe or spot removal] and his mission is to ensure that all Park Animals are made aware of this form of deception,” Addax says.

Police will continue to watch activity on the site and assess the effect it may or may not be having on Park life.

“If we see that the site is inducing hatred or violence toward any Animal or group of Animals, we will move in swiftly,” he says.

Otherwise, the operator of the web site is acting within his rights.

“He [the site’s owner] is walking a fine line here,” says Addax. “And we hope he realizes it.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life Tagged With: hatred, prejudice, web site

With or without him, Tricolore’s resto to serve food at Winter Celebration

December 12, 2014 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Tab Tricolore

The celebration will go on, with or without Tab Tricolore

The celebration must go on, they say. So, with or without their boss, Tab Tricolore’s restaurant will be serving food at the Celebration of the Winter Solstice on December 21.

In a statement released this morning, Aintza Kanariar, public relations director of The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals and Celebrations confirmed that Tricolore’s family restaurant, Clowder, will be among the establishments providing the celebration’s festive fare.

“We checked with Clowder’s manager and he says all systems are go,” Kanariar said when asked to elaborate on the subject in a radio interview this afternoon.

“I think we all feel that it’s what Tab would want,” she said.

In an article published yesterday in The Silvestris Star, Tricolore’s former saucier Barry “Béarnaise” Burmilla said all Tricolore’s staff members were “pulling together” to make sure the restaurants ran smoothly in their boss’s absence.

“We miss him and we need him, and we want to make sure that there are no problems for him when he finally returns,” Burmilla said.

In the meantime, Park Police say they have no news on Tricolore’s whereabouts.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life Tagged With: Winter Solstice celebration

Newspaper editorial should not be ignored, say Park’s aid groups

December 9, 2014 By Thaddeus S. Loris, TMD Health and Safety Reporter

Rodent Commoner

 

An editorial published last week that has ignited a firestorm of protest, has endangered the life of its writer, and has resulted in a curfew and a ban on travel outside The Park “should not be ignored,” say members of The Park’s aid groups.

“[Reporter Gunnar Espen] Rotte makes a valid point, in that you don’t have to have stripes or spots to be treated badly, inside or outside The Park,” says Rosbritt Piggsvin, head of the aid association Rodents at Risk.

“Almost all of us have all suffered from some sort of prejudice in our lives,” she says.

Inez Gallina, president of the immigrant aid group Home to Roost, agrees: “It’s not just prejudice. It’s more than that. I sometimes think it’s a holdover from the way we’re treated outside The Park. I think it spills over into our immigrants’ lives here. Native Park citizens make assumptions about us, based on what they’ve heard outside The Park. It can be devastating to a new immigrant, especially a refugee,” she says.

But Hendrik Dalmatiër of the Spotted Animal Alliance says these Animals are missing the point.

“This is not a contest about which Animal has a harder time. There is no winner here; there are only losers. It is our opinion that if a Park treats its Animals differently on the basis of appearance, we are all losers. And there is plenty of evidence that that happens,” he says.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: prejudice, specism

Could Tricolore’s “tabbiness” be connected to his disappearance?

December 5, 2014 By TMD Reporters

Tab Tricolore: "You have to offer an extraordinary culinary experience or else Animals will not dine at your restaurant."

Could the chef’s disappearance be connected to his “tabbiness?”

As the fourth day of Chef Tab Tricolore’s absence brings no clues as to his whereabouts, many have begun asking what might in the past have been a forbidden question: is it possible that Tricolore’s “tabbiness” is somehow connected to his abrupt disappearance?

The celebrated chef and award-winning author went missing on December 2, after he left The Park to source ingredients for that night’s service at his fine dining restaurant, Klo.

There are few who have seen him since and yesterday’s update from Park Police left much to be desired. They are at a loss, it seems, to understand what might have happened to him or where he might be.

Increasingly, though, there have been whispers about a theory that is at once unpalatable and believable. Could it be, as many Park Animals are beginning to wonder, that Tricolore is the victim of anti-stripe prejudice?

“The timing makes me suspicious,” says Blandine Okapi. Okapi, who recently resigned from the Archon Transition Team, is acting president of Sisters and Brothers of the Narrow Band, a Park organization that offers assistance to striped Animals.

“After all, wasn’t it just the day before his disappearance that [Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Espen} Rotte published that despicable editorial?”

Rotte’s article expressed his lack of sympathy with striped and spotted Animals and the difficulties they encounter.

“I come from a species that is universally hated,” he wrote, implying that striped and spotted Animals were not the only ones who suffer prejudice.

Okapi is one of many who say they are worried that some Park Animals such as Rotte may have ties to anti-stripe “elements” outside The Park.

“It’s possible that some Animals who feel the same way as he does may have called in a few favours,” she says.

Park Police, however, say they have no evidence of such a situation.

“At this time, we have no reason to suspect any Park Animal of any wrongdoing,” says Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of the Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business Tagged With: anti-stripe prejudice, hate, prejudice

Your government needs YOU: Archons, PFO to host pre-budget consultations

December 4, 2014 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

New budgetWith little more than six weeks to go before their term ends, the 2014 Archons have decided to consult Park citizens before they release the revised version of the 2015 budget.

At a press conference yesterday, press secretary to the Archons Balthasar Alouatta confirmed that the Archons, in conjunction with the Park Finance Office (PFO), will be hosting a “consultation event” at the Wishing Well between 10:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. both days this weekend.

“They felt it was important for them to hear what citizens and residents had to say regarding funding in the new year,” Alouatta said. “There have been so many complaints and our last budget was so controversial, it seemed appropriate to take it directly to Park Animals.”

After former Park Finance Officer Milton Struts was relieved of his duties last month, the Archons were expected to table a new budget by the end of November. But that has proven impossible for a number of reasons and the decision was taken to consult “those who are most affected by the budget.”

“The idea of consulting the populace originated with the Archons even though, as the de facto heads of the Park Finance Office, they are ultimately responsible for the budget,” Alouatta said.

“They want to hear what Park Animals have to say, but make no mistake. The budget stops with them,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life Tagged With: 2015 budget, budget consultations

Tab Tricolore disappearance: Police to hold press conference this afternoon

December 3, 2014 By TMD Crime Reporters

C Astrid H AntBREAKING NEWS
Park Police announced this morning that they will hold a press conference at 1:00 p.m. for the purpose of updating Park citizens on the disappearance of chef Tab Tricolore.

In attendance will be Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of the Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU), Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit (IIU) and C. Astrid H. Ant, Head of The Park’s Ant Security and Intelligence Service (ASIS).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life Tagged With: chef, disappearance, missing

Struts convinced Archons to encourage Human tourism in Park: rumour

November 28, 2014 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

headsNtales

Former Finance Officer Milton Struts convinced the Archons to promote Human tourism in The Park: rumour

Former Finance Officer and budget architect Milton Struts was the force behind the 2012 Archons’ decision to encourage Human tourism in The Park, the gossip site headsNtales is reporting.

In an article posted this morning, The Park’s “most-watched” gossip site quotes an anonymous source as saying that the creator of the controversial 2015 budget “pulled some strings with the Archons” to get them to consider the financial benefits of Human tourism in The Park.

The source, whose name and species is known to headsNtales but who wishes to remain anonymous to the site’s readers, says Struts had a “longtime” relationship with two male Humans who regularly spent their Summer lunch hours in The Park. The source claims there is video evidence of Struts accepting food from these Humans.

The source also claims that the two Humans “talked up” the financial benefits of encouraging Humans to spend time in The Park and that Struts took the idea to the Archons as early as 2010. Amaury Porpoise, who served two terms as Chief Archon during the calendar harmonization period, had no interest in the plan, according to the source.

The idea was resurrected, though, when his arch rival, George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt, assumed the Chief Archonship in 2012 and vowed to do the opposite of whatever his predecessor had done. Despite the resistance of many of the other 34 Archons, the source says, Newt not only embarked on the plan to promote Human tourism in The Park, but he took full credit for the idea and moved swiftly on Struts’s advice to use Park funds for the purpose.

The three-prong plan that was subsequently adopted was praised by some who owned Park businesses, but it was met with opposition from many others, including The Park’s environmental groups, who vowed to fight its funding. The 2015 budget did not include tourism.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Gossip and Rumour, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: budget, tourism

Chef Tab Tricolore to collaborate with artists on PMoCA 2015 installation

November 26, 2014 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Tab Tricolore: "You have to offer an extraordinary culinary experience or else Animals will not dine at your restaurant."

Chef Tab Tricolore to collaborate on PMoCA art installation

Celebrity Chef and award-winning author Tab Tricolore will collaborate with a group of artists on the Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s 2015 installation.

Aulikki Norsu, president of PMoCA’s board of directors, confirmed the collaboration between the museum and the controversial chef in a statement released this morning.

“We are pleased to announce that renowned Park Chef Tab Tricolore will serve as creative director of our 2015 art installation. The chef will work closely with our in-house staff as well as with Park artists that he will select personally to craft what we anticipate will be a thought-provoking piece,” the statement reads.

The subject of the installation remains a “closely-guarded secret,” the statement said, but those close to Tricolore say it is safe to assume that it will be food-related.

“As you know, Tab is obsessed with food. He can barely be distracted; his mind is always going, he’s always working and reworking recipes, sourcing new ingredients, looking to other species for inspiration. He’s an artist, himself, and I can’t imagine that if he got involved in a ‘real’ art project, that it wouldn’t at least include food, if not be totally about food,” said his former saucier, Barry “Béarnaise” Burmilla.

Although a date has not been announced for the opening, the museum statement said it expected the installation to be ready by the Spring.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: art installation, celebrity chef, food

Milton Struts: who knew what and when and why did they say nothing?

November 21, 2014 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

Struts

Archons launch investigation into activities of Milton Struts

BREAKING NEWS
The 2014 Archons have launched an investigation into former Park Finance Officer Milton Struts’s dealings with Humans.

In an announcement made this morning, press secretary to the Archons Balthasar Alouatta confirmed that a “full” investigation has commenced with the goal of uncovering not only any wrongdoing that Struts may have committed, but also what was known, if anything, by others.

“In the interest of all who reside in The Park, the 2014 Archons have launched a full investigation into the activities of former Park Finance Officer Milton Struts. We are looking to gain all information regarding Mr. Struts’s dealings with Humans, both inside and outside The Park,” Alouatta said.

In addition, the investigation committee is asking all Animals who have any information regarding the matter to come forward and testify before the committee.

“It is of the utmost importance that we gather all the information we can so that we can make an informed decision as to whether or not Mr. Struts did anything inappropriate,” he said.

Alouatta also confirmed that Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon has “graciously” accepted the Archons’ invitation to head the investigation committee.

“With Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon at the helm, we are confident that the committee will be able to investigate and render their decision in a timely fashion,” Alouatta said.

He promised. as well, that all findings would be made public as soon as they are compiled.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life

First week of December designated as “Sneak Peek Week” at Park Museum

November 20, 2014 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Park MuseumThe Park Museum has designated the first week of December as “Sneak Peek Week.”

In a statement released yesterday, The Board of Governors issued an invitation to all Park Animals to take a sneak peek at their museum.

“In anticipation of its January 2015 opening, all Park Animals are invited to explore the museum free of charge, from 10:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m., December 1-7, inclusive,” the statement reads.

The museum, which is still under construction but is scheduled to open officially in January 2015, was designed by the architectural firm of Fleck + Stone. The complex will include a library and an art gallery and the museum itself will serve as the permanent home of many important Park artefacts, including the Varrian Calendar.

For more information, please check the museum’s web site at parkmuseum.info.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

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