peacekeeping

On This Day—October 27, 2014: Police to bring in reinforcements for today’s Account of the State of The Park

October 27, 2023 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Mammalian Daily Exclusive

A source close to Park Police has confirmed to The Mammalian Daily that our collective policing and peacekeeping forces are gearing up for what could be a major disruption this afternoon, when the Archons and The Park Finance Office deliver their annual Account of the State of the Park.

In a communication dated October 26, the source cited what she referred to as “troop movements,” meaning that various police and peacekeeping groups were readying themselves for the possibility of dealing with discontent and violence at the Account. That discontent, in large part due to the unpopularity of the 2015 budget, could boil over and become dangerously violent.

For that reason, the Does of Peace, The Park’s newest peacekeeping group, have invited the few Doves of Peace who have remained in The Park to join them at the event. Also called in, according to our source, were Guard Dog reservists and retired members of the Ant Security and Intelligence Service (ASIS).

“The mission is to keep the peace,” said the source’s communication. “Animals will be free to express themselves verbally but not physically and the ‘No Biting’ rule will be maintained by all members of the police force.”

Park Police had no comment when contacted regarding the event.

On This Day—September 8, 2014: The Does of Peace: typo in job ad nets Park Police new peacekeeping group

September 8, 2023 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

First it was the missing letter in “Beasts” that turned the annual charity music festival into the “Beats of Burden.”

Now a typo in the recruitment announcement sent out by the Doves of Peace has gifted the Doves and Park Police with a “welcome addition”: a brand new group of peacekeepers called the Does of Peace.

At a press event this morning, representatives of the Police and the Doves announced the formation of this new group.

“This is another case of serendipity,” said Doves spokesBird Georgina Golub.

“The Does of Peace, whom we hired during our recruitment weekend, are a most welcome addition to our peacekeeping force.”

No one doubts they are welcome now, but that wasn’t quite the case during the last weekend of August.

When Park Police’s wholly autonomous peacekeeping group put out a call for prospective hirees to join the Doves of Peace, the announcement read, instead, “Does of Peace.”

But it seemed that no one noticed, save for the female Deer who swarmed the Ancient Open-Air Theatre in search of employment.

“They arrived with some of the most impressive résumés we’ve ever seen, and a great deal of experience in peacekeeping, both in the outside world and in The Park,” Golub said.

At a loss for what to do, Golub arranged for interviewers to talk to the Does and explain the mix-up.

“But what I noticed, as we turned them away…they weren’t angry. They seemed understanding. Disappointed, but understanding. And, I thought, ‘why am I turning away some of the best peacekeepers I’ve ever met?'”

So, after extensive consultation with Park Police and the Department of Well-Being and Safety, the decision was made to form an adjunct group to help keep peace in The Park.

In addition to their regular duties, Golub says, the Does will take over from the Doves during migration season.

“It works perfectly with our schedule and now that we’ve done it, I don’t know why we didn’t think of it before.”

And, fittingly, the Does of Peace will make their first professional appearance this coming weekend, at the Beats of Burden Music Festival.

Doves called back to assist Does of Peace in monitoring polling stations

November 7, 2016 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

The Doves of Peace were called back from migration last week to assist their sister-agency, the Does of Peace, in monitoring polling stations during today’s election.

According to Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), the unprecedented decision was made “to ensure the integrity of the election.”

The Doves and Does, who are fully autonomous sub-groups of Park Police, attend Park celebrations and days of significance, but this is the first time in Park history that they have been called to monitor an election.

Speaking last night from a pit stop a few kilometres from The Park, Doves of Peace spokesBird Georgina Golub said the decision to call her group back to The Park was appropriate, “if not prescient.”

“Yesterday’s violence at the All Candidates’ mega rally was a good sign that we should come home and keep the peace during this historic election,” she said.

The violence that Golub referred to at yesterday’s rally started with one attendee deliberately tripping Ekeoma L. Girraaf, who had just finished speaking in support of candidate Yannis Tavros. Tavros’s supporters, including his campaign manager Raimundo Zorro, ganged up on the attendee and held him until Park Police forced them to release him. At that point, supporters of the beaten attendee cornered Zorro and tried to block police access to him. Zorro, who was convicted last year of hate-mongering and engaging in specist activities, was eventually removed from the rally, but not before at least fifty Animals were arrested and many more were taken to hospital.

Golub said that after re-grouping, the Doves would be ready for work at noon today.

“We’re looking forward to monitoring a peaceful and enjoyable election process,” she said.

The Does of Peace: The Mammalian Daily’s choice for Animals of the Year

December 30, 2015 By TMD Reporters

The Does of Peace: The Park’s accidental heroines

BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily has chosen the Does of Peace as its 2015 Animals of the Year.

In a press announcement this morning, TMD managing editor Orphea Haas said the newspaper’s staff chose to honour The Park’s newest peacekeeping group because of their “tireless and graceful efforts” to achieve peace and harmony among the species.

“As Alfredo Ox said so eloquently last year, they have added a whole new dimension to peacekeeping in The Park,” Haas said.

It was their inauspicious beginning that makes their success even more noteworthy, Haas wrote. Referring to them on more than one occasion as “The Park’s accidental heroines,” the editor reflected on the serendipity that brought them to their present position. In September of 2014, the Does responded to a recruitment advertisement sent out by the Doves of Peace. The printed ad included a typo, which altered “Doves” to “Does,” and the Does hastened to attend the recruitment event.

The peace-loving Animals that they are, they responded without anger to being sent away. But, to their credit, the Doves had a quick change of heart and hired the Does, producing, as Doves spokesBird Georgina Golub calls them, “the most gentle, caring, and effective peacekeeping group” she has ever known.

The Mammalian Daily salutes the ongoing work of the Does of Peace and wishes all citizens and residents of The Park the best in 2016.

Police to bring in reinforcements for today’s Account of the State of The Park

October 27, 2014 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

Mammalian Daily Exclusive

Park Police had no comment when contacted regarding the event.

The Does of Peace: typo in job ad nets Park Police new peacekeeping group

September 8, 2014 By Thaddeus S. Loris, TMD Health and Safety Reporter

Does of Peace will join the Doves this Autumn: Police