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Chitter Radio Literary Awards adds new category for 2017: speeches

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The Chitter Radio Literary Awards (CRLA) has added a new category to its already sizeable list of honours: speeches.

In a short communiqué issued this morning, CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán cited the need to expand the term, “literary,” and to continue to acknowledge the artistic elements of non-fiction as her reasons for adding the category.

“We need to continue to broaden our horizons and reward those artists whose work may not fit easily into the established categories,” the communiqué said.

Tucán, who has been CRLA director since 2015, began taking the awards in a different direction last year, when she allowed celebrity chef Tab Tricolore to serve his “Liberation Libation” to attendees. Though it was a controversial move, it illustrated what many call Tucán’s “sense of the bigger picture.”

“I’ve known Guadalupe for years and I know what she’s thinking when she does things like that,” said a longtime friend. “She believes that art and even literariness can be found as much in the mundane as in grand canvasses or great books. So, I’m not surprised by anything she does.”

Tucán said the category expansion is not expected to add more than a few minutes to the evening, which will be broadcast live on AVN Television.

The Chitter Radio Literary Awards take place June 15. Nominations will be announced in mid-May.

It’s official: Abeja is out, search is on for new PFO head

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PFO Head Valentina AbejaBREAKING NEWS

Valentina Abeja has left the PFO building.

Or at least, she’ll be gone by April 30.

In a short statement this afternoon, the Park Finance Office confirmed the rumours of the past few weeks:

“The Park Finance Office wishes to inform all Park citizens that PFO head Valentina Abeja will be leaving her post as of April 30 of this year. We thank her for her work and for the integrity with which she oversaw the PFO and two Park budgets and we wish her all the best in her future endeavours.”

The PFO also confirmed that it has initiated a search for a new head and budget chief.

Abeja was appointed in February of 2015, after Milton Struts was unceremoniously relieved of his duties after a series of scandals involving Humans. She moved swiftly to unite the PFO and to prepare budgets that reflected the needs and concerns of Park citizens. According to an August 2016 poll by The Cosmopolitan Pest, Abeja is extremely well-liked and trusted and most Park citizens were hoping that she would continue to head the PFO.

“She may be the best-liked and best-respected PFO head The Park has ever had,” Inès Puceron, the magazine’s editor, said last week. “But her ideas do not reflect those of the present Chief Archon.”

Ronald Grouse to take over MWM’s Twitter account full-time on May 1

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mwm-flyersRonald Grouse, the newly-elected director of Park media’s Month Without Metaphor, will take control of the event’s Twitter account on Monday, May 1. He made the announcement yesterday while a guest on Toro Talk Radio’s Yannis Tavros show.

The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst was elected director of the annual event earlier this month and he replaces Alvin Tinamou, who was one of the founders of the initiative and who served as its director the past three years.

In an interview with The Eagle Star the day after he was elected, Grouse said he intended to expand MWM’s reach through the use of social media.

“I think it’s important [for the initiative] that we enter the public forum and explain our raison d’être,” he said. “I think Twitter is a good way to do that, to let readers and listeners know that they can have a say in the degree to which media manipulate them.”

Grouse said he would tweet on a regular basis throughout the month, as well as host live conferences with MWM’s Twitter followers. He also is booked to be a guest on a number of Park radio and television interview shows throughout May and he has been invited to be a Mammalian Daily guest columnist.

Park’s Avian population set to soar above other species: BirdBrains

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yellow-bird-soaring

The Park’s Avian population is set to soar above all other species, according to a report published last week by the Avian mentoring programme, BirdBrains.

The report, entitled, “Zoocracy After Thirty-Five: A New Avian Era,” analyzes a number of studies of the development of The Park’s Avian population in the years following the establishment of zoocracy.

According to these studies, Avians dipped in levels of education, employment, and entrepreneurship during the first decade and a half of zoocracy, when they were overtaken by other species, the large majority of which were Mammals and Fish. In addition, statistics from the Long Gone Registry confirm that the number of Avians who chose to leave The Park permanently grew consistently from 1995 to 2005. The first cohort set up homes and infrastructure in other areas, which encouraged an exodus in the years between 2001 and 2005.

But all that is about to change, according to the report’s authors and BirdBrains directors, Gwendolyn Goose and Henry Gander, whose late father, Cesar Emilio Gander, founded the Avian mentoring programme.

The average level of education in the Avian population has gone from the rudimentary level to intermediate, says Goose, with a significant increase in the number of Avians attending institutions of higher learning.

“This year, Avians will constitute the largest number of new students as well as the largest number of graduates,” Goose says proudly.

In addition, many more Avians have become interested in technology and, in turn, entrepreneurship. Goose and Gander credit their father’s vision, as well as that of the education initiative of the 2011 and 2012 Archons, with the change in the Avian mindset.

“Many more Birds are making the decision to stay here and get an education. They see opportunities that aren’t available outside The Park and they’re now reaching for the stars,” says Gander.

Kawena Palila is one of them. An alumna of BirdBrains, Palila credits the programme with helping her to realize her dream, the social media site gaggle, which went live last year. Palila says the programme helped her get funding and some extra expertise for the site, as well as encouraging her to “think Avian,” which resulted in a site “not for the individual, but for the flock.”

Goose and Gander say there are many more Palilas on the horizon and they look forward to mentoring many flocks of them in the coming years.

Footpad Heaven braces for onslaught of shoppers at Sunday’s clearance sale

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Footpad HeavenCome one. Come all. Come early. And be prepared for long lineups and security at the door. But, remember, there’ll also be treats. And music.

That is what manager Adamma Bandicoot has been telling her clientele for the past few weeks when they’ve asked about the shop’s annual clearance sale.

Even though they’ll be selling last year’s stock, as they always do at this annual sale, Bandicoot says she’s sure they’ll sell out early this year.

“We’ve got prime stock for sale, and even though it’s technically last year’s, it’s brand new and some of the most coveted items we’ve ever sold,” she says.

Bandicoot, who traces her ancestry back to the shop’s founder, sculptor Josiah Bandicoot, is particularly proud of the line from Holstein Fashion. That includes some of the designs that were seen in the fashion show last year during Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), as well as their regular line of paw coverings and stick-on striped and spotted toe pads. There are also a few items for sale from the collection honouring Zuberi Tembo, the Endeka Elephant Band’s late bassist. Bandicoot says she held back a few things from each collection just for this sale, but she warns that making them yours will take some time and patience.

If that’s not for you, there will be an express line for FP’s signature toepads and other accoutrement for which the shop is famous.

“We like to think w have something for every Animal,” Bandicoot says. “After all, we’re in the business of making our customers happy.”

Who: Footpad Heaven
What: Annual Clearance Sale
When: April 15, 7:00 a.m until closing time

Month Without Metaphor executive committee names new director

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mwm-posterThe executive committee of Park media’s annual Month Without Metaphor has named Ronald Grouse as director of the annual initiative.

The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst will take the reins on Monday and begin by expanding MWM’s reach through social media, says an announcement issued this morning.

A graduate of the Cuthbert School of Journalism at the University of West Terrier, Grouse has been a frequent guest of Yannis Tavros on his Toro Talk Radio show and a regular commentator during coverage of The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations. He has worked at The Avian Messenger for the past eight years.

Grouse replaces Alvin Tinamou, who was one of the founders of Month Without Metaphor and who served as its director the past three years.

PASS: we’ll defy any law that stops us from doing business with Humans

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penguin waiterThe Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS) sent a strong message to the Archons today: no law will stop its members from doing business with Humans.

At a press conference this morning, PASS President Wellington Whistlepig said his membership voted unanimously on Monday to defy any legislation brought forth by the Archons that would restrict Park Animals’ right to trade with Humans.

“Let’s be clear,” Whistlepig said. “There is no wiggle room here. Our membership cannot afford to pick and choose its customers. This is not about liking Humans or having any personal relationships with them. This is about the livelihood of our members.”

Asked why PASS members voted on an issue that is little more than a rumour at this point, Whistlepig was forthright.

“We felt we needed to get ahead of this, to let the Archons know where we stand on this issue and how we feel about the direction in which they seem to be heading. This is about our members’ very survival and, we believe, about the economic independence of The Park.”

 

BREAKING: Archons to outlaw Humans’ use of Park Animals as transport

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horse-drawn-carriageBREAKING NEWS
In a surprise announcement at a press briefing this afternoon, the Archons’ spokesAnimal, Balthasar Alouatta, said the Archons plan to enact legislation that will outlaw the use of our citizens and residents as transport for Humans both within and outside Park boundaries. He said the law will come into effect in early April.

Calling the new law “the first in a suite of laws that will codify the relationship between Park Animals and Humans,” Alouatta confirmed the Archons’ desire to “delineate formally the boundaries of the rights, abilities, and obligations of Humans as regards The Park’s population.”

“The Archons feel that the fluid relationship between Humans and Park Animals that has existed for decades must come to an end. Now that we have a mature zoocracy, they feel it is time to formally codify that relationship,” he said.

Although Alouatta did not take questions at the briefing, he did acknowledge the “many considerations” and difficulties that some Park Animals would experience as a result of the new legislation.

“It is not the intention of the Archons to make life difficult for Park Animals,” Alouatta said. “Rather, it is their intention to ensure that Park Animals will be treated with fairness and respect by Humans, now and in the years to follow,” he said.

Travel ban will hurt our students, art school director tells Archons

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Hani Gajah School of ArtThe director of the Hani Gajah School of Art has made a heartfelt plea to the Archons: don’t restrict Animals’ travel outside The Park.

In an open letter published across Park media, Nolwazi Indlovu pleads her case for students’ “unrestricted exposure to the wider world,” while addressing the Archons’ reported concerns about safety.

“We at The Park’s premier centre of artistic education share your concern for the safety of all Park Animals. From the beginning, we have put our students’ safety first, yet we have designed curricula that require them to spend time outside The Park. We believe that the value of their enrichment through unrestricted exposure to the wider world outweighs any risk that might be involved,” the letter reads in part.

The letter is a response to the February rumour that the Archons plan to restrict Animal’s travel due to the inability of our legal representatives to aid Animals who have been charged or detained outside The Park.

While other Park educational institutions also require their students to spend some time outside The Park, the Hani Gajah School would be more adversely affected by any travel ban, since its four-year programme requires one year of full-time residency outside The Park.

The letter to the Archons was signed by Indlovu as well as by former Hani Gajah instructor and current curator of The Park Museum’s art gallery, Dorika Pumi, Hani Gajah alumni Anastazja Koci and Hanad Maroodiga, and Aamuun Maroodiga, head curator, Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA).

 

Archons hunt for new Finance Office head to defund tourism, trade: rumour

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3280_smiled_wolf_business_man_holding_cashPark Finance Office (PFO) head Valentina Abeja’s days may be numbered.

According to a post on the gossip site headsNtales, Chief Archon Klarissa Kuttu is “not pleased” with some of the terms of Abeja’s past budgets.

In the post dated today, the site’s co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo quotes a conversation she claims to have had with a Park Finance Office employee, who says that Abeja has been under pressure since January to produce a budget that will defund tourism and extra-hortulanial trade (trade with those living outside The Park).

According to Guacamayo’s source, Abeja has resisted, even though she herself reduced the funding for both in her last budget.

“Abeja does not believe in isolating The Park,” Guacamayo says the source told her. But her resistance may prove futile because, according to the source, Kuttu has begun a search for a new PFO head who will follow her orders.

If these rumours are true, this will be the first time in Park history that a Chief Archon has interfered with a budget prior to its release. It’s been customary for the PFO head to prepare a budget and then for the Archons en masse to approve it, to request changes, or to send it back.

According to Park historian and professor Beatrice Zilonis, this action, if true, is unprecedented. And dangerous.

“We have never seen so much direct contact with the PFO head prior to a budget,” she told The Mammalian Daily.

Zilonis says that while there has always been some tension between the PFO head and the Archons, the Archons have never given direct orders to the PFO.

“It’s unheard of,” she said. “Since it’s the Archons who’ve appointed the PFO head, they’ve usually been on the same page. The budget has always been tweaked, either because of the Archons’ desires or the citizens’, but never at this stage. If this is true, this constitutes overreach on the part of the Archons, in my opinion,” she said.

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